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BACKGROUND

THE SPRUCE VALLEY MIRACLE is earth-bound science fiction. In it, a highly ethical doctor discovers a way to restore old people to the physical condition they had in their thirties.

Is this a good thing? Well, sure, it would be fine for you and me, but how many of the rest of the world's people would we want to join us in immortality? If immortality were to begin in a massive way over a span of a few years, the social disruptions could be severe. Not to mention that there are a few dirty birds, the likes of Adolph Schicklgruber (Hitler) and Joseph Djugashvili (Stalin) that one would not wish to make immortal.

The good doctor conceives a fountain of youth hoax akin to the Miracle of Lourdes so that God is given the credit (and the blame) for the miracle. This allows him to expose the world to his new marvel in a small way so that civilization has time to adjust to it.

I completed this novel in 1983, then began submitting it to the eagerly awaiting publishing world. I kept track of the rejections until the count passed 120. Did you know that there are 120 publishers? Well, actually, there are more than that. I quit counting, but kept submitting into the spring of 1999. Some people say I'm stubborn. I say I'm persistent. (Actually, I'm far more patient now than was once the case, as proven by the fact that The Dragonslayers only had 12 rejections before I settled for self-publishing.) The thing is that The Spruce Valley Miracle is a book with a message. The eternal youth at the core of this novel is happening. It's happening slowly, like global warming, but it's happening. Science is learning what governs the life of individual cells and will find a way to stop or reset our biological clocks. And science is an irresistible force. Even when church and state forced Galileo to drop his foolish insistence that the sun did not revolve around the earth, the earth did, in fact, continue to revolve about the sun. We need to think about the consequences of immortality. It's a probability, not a possibility.

It happens to be a mildly humorous novel too.

As promised in the January, 2008 edition of this web site, Chapter 6 is deleted below and Chapter 7 is presented with the intention that the entire novel will be presented, one chapter at a time. However, this is going rather slowly and a high percentage of the multitude reading this may have no idea what was in the first six chapters, so a synopsis will precede Chapter 7. You may print out one copy if you choose, but the material is protected by copyright and multiple copies or distribution is expressly forbidden.

THE SPRUCE VALLEY MIRACLE - SYNOPSIS

Chapter 1 - The Doctor's Game - Theodore Thorndike, head of The Thorndyke Corporation, an operator of rest homes for the aged, has hired Dr. Earnest Visionaire as head of his Spruce Valley facility near Saratoga, NY. Dr. Visionaire is really too perfect, so Mr. Thorndyke, a veteran of WW II, keeps asking himself, "What's wrong with this picture?" Then an 81-year old resident becomes pregnant and Theodore suddenly realizes that he hasn't seen any old residents at the Spruce Valley facility.

Chapter 2 - Pandora's Box - Confronted with the evidence, Dr. Visionaire admits that he has discovered a way to turn back the human biological clock, making old folks young again, just as he has restored his own youth. Mr. Thorndyke accepts that there are good reasons to allow the residents to continue in their belief that the spring water at Spruce Valley has rejuvenating powers. Later, Theodore realizes that there is a major downside to the whole thing and correctly identifies it as a Pandora's Box.

Chapter 3 - Project Creeper - Seeking to solidify the belief that the Spruce Valley water is a fountain of youth, Dr. Visionaire, Mr. Thorndyke, and Ellie, Mr Thorndyke's wife, set up a hoax. Dr. Visionaire, disguised as The Virgin Mary, will go through a service tunnel to the Spruce Valley spring house, where one of the residents will see her as a vision.

Chapter 4 - A Pair Of Miracles - The three conspirators set their plan in motion. It works, but due to a fluke in timing, the wrong resident sees the vision. Miss Winterborn, single, pregnant, and unrepentant, views the miraculous vision of Mary at the springhouse. The three conspirators go ahead with a second vision of Mary with Mrs. Thorndyke disguised as Mary, and, again, Miss Winterborn blunders in and appears to be chosen by Mary. A newspaper reporter related to one of the residents breaks the story in his dinky paper.

Chapter 5 - The Spotlight - The story grows to national prominence. Miss Winterborn loves being a celebrity, while the three conspirators cringe at the news overkill. Dr. Visionaire pretends ignorance and scepticism.

Chapter 6 - New Residents & Old - Applications for admission to Spruce Valley explode. Even with a new addition being built, there isn't nearly enough space. Dr. Visionaire tries to choose the most 'worthy' applicants, until Theodore tells him he can't do that without exposing their hoax as a hoax. So the good doctor concentrates on moving the rejuvenated residents out to make room for new residents. The most stubborn resident is Miss Winterborn, who enjoys her star role too much to leave. Then Ellie Thorndyke lends a hand and Miss Winterborn decides to leave one snowy evening with the baby's father, Mr. Black. Fate strikes again as the baby arrives while their car is stuck in a snowdrift. Taking refuge in a barn, baby Christofer is born on Christmas Eve and placed in a manger. The press loves it and the three conspirators philosophize over a bottle of wine.

THE SPRUCE VALLEY MIRACLE - Chapter 7 - Ms. Ormond & Uncle Sam

The week that followed whipped by in an exhausting blur, such that New Year's Eve seemed a part of the distant past on New Year's Day. Phones were constantly ringing, new residents were flooding in, and reporters and TV cameras were back. Thanks to Miss Winterborn and her blessed event, the whole world wanted to know more about Spruce Valley or find a way to gain admission there.

Weather permitting, the parking lot had a tendency to fill with unannounced visitors, then the overflow would park along the sides of the driveway till there was barely room for the delivery trucks to get by. Many of the visitors came equipped with empty water jugs. The enterprising lad across the road, that same lad who sold the sound of a crowing rooster to Dr. Visionaire, had gone into business selling water jugs, full or empty, at a roadside stand. Oddly enough, when Theodore discovered the lad's water supply business and cut off his access to the Spruce Valley fountains, the lad went right on selling full jugs to all takers. He simply changed the labels from "Miracle Water From The Spruce Valley Spring" to "Miracle Water From Spruce Valley". It was a technically honest lie, since the region had been named Spruce Valley long before the Spruce Valley Retirement Home had come into being. An enterprising lad, indeed.

But there was an obvious need for increased security. Theodore established a guard house at the foot of the driveway and busied himself in a search for suitable fencing. It couldn't be the modern woven-wire stuff with spikes or barbed wire across the top. That simply wouldn't fit the decor. It had to be wrought iron, preferably of a design and quality that might only be available from some old estate being remodeled and partitioned. Theodore got on the phone and sent out inquiries in all directions. By the fourth day, he had located three used fences and a manufacturer who might build one at an acceptable price. It was time to go look at the fences and see if someone was vulnerable to the sight of ready cash which might be accepted or lost forever if the price wasn't right.

Theodore was on the way to his car, suitcase in hand, when he met Dr. Visionaire in the hall. "Oh, Earnest, one small thing before I forget it," he said, "there's a Ms. Ormond who'll be calling on you, if she hasn't already. Says she's with the State Department. Claims it's urgent. I referred her to you."

"Urgent, eh?" Earnie asked, with his usual smile. "What's urgent?"

"Some sort of admissions arrangements for foreign VIPs. You recall we anticipated some such thing?"

"So we did!" Earnie agreed, joining Theodore for the walk to his car. "It's kind of scary, being right about predicting it, don't you think?"

"No, not really," Theodore answered. "I like things I can predict. I can bloody well prepare for those. That's why I chose this business. Folks get old. That's predictable. And the cencus figures tell me it's a growth business. Again, very predictable."

"Ah, but the Spruce Valley Miracle wasn't in your predictions!"

"True, My Boy, but if there's one thing better than predictability, it's opportunity! A good strategist seeks both. Good Lord, Earnest, do you realize how totally dull complete predictability would be?"

"I can't argue with that," Earnie agreed.

"You know what I'd do about that Ms. Ormond and her VIP admissions, Earnest?"

"Lay it on me," Earnie invited.

"I'd haggle with her! Make her give me something I want! Make a game of it! Make her give you such a whopping good deal that you'll be happy to do business with her! That's the sort of thing that keeps the juices flowing, Old Boy! It's precisely what I've set out to do on this fence thing! I've set myself a goal; I'm going to haggle till I've got a good solid wrought iron fence at no more than one of those brand-new woven wire whiz-bangs would cost!"

"That's a tall order!" Earnie admitted, phrasing it in the expected tones of admiration and doubt.

"Aim high!" Theodore insisted. "You'll be amazed at how often you can do better than you expected."

"It has the ring of a battle-cry," Earnie said. "Geronimo! Banzai! For God and Saint George!"

"Exactly! That's the spirit exactly!" Theodore agreed. It's a set of the mind. A will to be agressive; not just some passive lump that gets pushed this way and that!"

"I'll do it!" Earnie agreed. "If Ms. What's-her-name wants favors from us, she'll pay the price and then some!"

"Ormond. Ms. Ormond," Theodore said. "When you meet her, stall, play for time. Size up her character. Let her worry about whether you're going to agree to anything at all. Time is on your side. Use it!"

"Gotcha!" Earnie agreed. They reached Theodore's car and stashed the luggage in the trunk. The usual trite farewells were exchanged, and Theodore was on his way.

Earnie walked back towards his office, pondering what he would ask of Ms. Ormond. He couldn't make a raw hold-up of it. There had to be some connection, however tenuous, between Ms. Ormond's VIPs and the concessions he would insist upon.

Security. There were always security problems with VIPs, weren't there? Absolutely! And all sorts of things might come under the security umbrella. Winter snow plowing, improved communications, a heliport, security guards, a first-rate diagnostic lab - bonanza! Ms. What's-her-name was going to pay a price indeed!

And then came a thought that spread a huge grin across Earnie's face. Ms. What's-her-name could pay for Theodore's fence! What a success that would be, beating Theodore at his own game!

Earnie was still wearing that grin as he entered the main building and found himself on a collision course with a very attractive young lady who headed off his move to go by her.

"Dr. Visionaire?" she asked.

"Yes, Mam! Can I help you?" he asked, trying to erase the grin, which must look foolish to one not in on the joke.

"I'm Ms. Ormond," she said, sending an electric shock through Earnie. "Did Mr. Thorndyke relay my message to you?"

"Oh, yes. He said I should expect a call from you, but I'm not sure exactly what it is that you need from us," Earnie replied, while another part of his mind was screaming, "Objectivity, man! Objectivity! Drive Theodore's hard bargain! Don't fall apart just because she's incredibly beautiful!"

"I'll be happy to explain," she said. "Could we talk in your office?"

"Surely! Right this way," Earnie said, leading off.

"It's quite a modern and pleasant facility you have here," Ms. Ormond said. "I was rather afraid I'd find a dreary old nursing home crammed into a converted monstrosity of a building."

"There's a sort of mutual feeling there," Earnie laughed. "I was afraid you would prove to be a monstrous old bureaucrat."

"Ah, ha!" she laughed. "Thanks, but I can't entirely accept the compliment. Representing a bureaucracy as I do, you'll find that I'm necessarily a bureaucrat of sorts."

"Now, then," Earnie said when they were comfortably seated in his office. "What can we do for you?"

"Really no more or less than you do for your other residents, I expect. Except that the people I would refer to you will, in every case, be Very Important Persons who are accustomed to certain amenities."

"Such as?"

Ms. Ormond took a deep breath, then reeled off a list, "Prompt admission, private rooms, facilities for aides, room service of all kinds, a certain degree of diplomatic immunity from all house rules, and in general, priority over other residents."

Earnie blinked and shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said, "but that's quite impossible. You can't imagine how many people are seeking admission here. I've been in an agony of turning down nine out of ten applicants during the past month and you're asking triple space for totally new applicants."

"Unfortunately, I'm all too aware of the fame of Spruce Valley," Ms. Ormond sighed. "The story of the miracle here was published all over the world. The State Department has been flooded with inquiries and I have been instructed to expedite certain admissions."

"If you'll give me your list, I'll accord your candidates the same consideration as the others, but, frankly, I'm swamped," Earnie said.

"You must learn to think positively, Doctor," Ms. Ormond insisted. "You are running a business and I represent the world's weathiest customer, who needs your services desperately. The obvious answer is to expand your business to meet the customer's needs."

"You're surely aware that the Thorndyke Corporation has just about completed a crash project to double the capacity here?"

"I can see to it that you receive an interest-free loan to double it again," Ms. Ormond said, as if totally unimpressed by the most recent doubling.

Dr.Visionaire smiled. "There's no such thing as a free lunch, Ms. Ormond. Just what would this interest-free loan cost?"

"A committment to accept Government-sponsored people up to the total resident space provided by the loan and an immediate commitment to accept a certain initial number of Government-sponsored people pending completion of the new expansion."

"That's really not a very attractive deal from our view-point," Dr. Visionaire countered. "Such galloping growth would destroy much of the close-knit charm and home-like quality the Thorndyke Corporation strives for in all of its facilities."

"It can be done in good taste," Ms. Ormond said. "That's only a matter of architecture. It's only necessary that it be supplied with that very special spring water."

Dr. Visionaire leaned back in his chair and pondered the whole thing for a moment, then said, "If one takes the long view that all things are possible, then one also has to consider the possibility that this whole thing will prove to be a fad and fade away, leaving us with a huge empty building we can neither fill nor pay for."

"I'll give you an insurance polity," Ms. Ormond said determinedly. "A twenty-year lease for the new building's services. You'll not only have an interest-free loan, you'll have a fool-proof means of paying it."

Dr. Visionaire sat quietly, regarding his remarkable beautiful and confident visitor. "You said the Government needed our services desperately. Desperately must indeed be the right word."

"It is," Ms. Ormond confirmed. "There are several small, but very important countries whose stability depends on the longevity of certain key leaders who have already used their three score and ten years. There are certain other major nations where important leaders say, 'You want my help? Then this is what you must do for me -' And the thing we must do is to return their lost youth."

"Ah!" Dr. Visionaire cautioned. "Please don't forget that there are no warranties on the so-called Miracle of Spruce Valley. I can offer no guarantees of restored youth, nor can any other members of the Thorndyke Corporation."

"That's understood," Ms. Ormond assured him.

"I only hope your foreign clients understand it," the doctor continued. "It may be a severe test of anyone's character to come here and receive nothing but sympathy while others are crowned with new-found youth. Such a person may arrive as a friend or neutral and leave as an enemy."

"Those risks have been weighed."

"Just can't seem to discourage you, can I?"

"Not in the least."

"What about security?" the doctor asked, suddenly remembering an item he'd originally thought would be the major item. "Because of your VIPs, we'd need fencing, guards, improved emergency medical facilities -"

"No problem. Those are recognized costs of doing business in foreign affairs."

Dr. Visionaire retreated into silence, trying to remember all of Theodore's advice on driving a hard bargain. It was clear that Ms. Ormond was willing to grant him virtually anything he asked. What about the other side of the coin? What was he giving up?

"Cat got your tongue?" Ms. Ormond prompted.

Dr. Visionaire shrugged his shoulders non-commitally, scratched his head, and decided to try the disarmingly frank approach. "You're too generous," he said. "There's a catch in this somewhere. I'm just trying to figure out where it is."

"No catch," Ms. Ormond assured him. "What you see is what you get."

"Well, now, I is just a little ole country boy," the doctor answered, "and I is scared half to death that I is gonna get somethin' I don't see. It's sort of like being scared of the dark. For instance, where do you stand on control?"

"Control? I'm not sure I know what you mean?"

"Interference would be a more honest word, I suppose," the doctor explained. "Obviously you people will choose or approve the patients for the Government-sponsored portion of the facility. What else will be required? Reports? Audits? New standards? Conform to this, conform to that? A horde of petty bureaucrats gobbling up my time to justify their pay?"

"We bureaucrats are indestructible," Ms. Ormond replied with the grin of the Cheshire Cat. "Stomp on one of us and two more will rise beneath your feet! Yes, Doctor, there will be reports and audits and standards and all the other trappings of bureaucracy to deal with. That's the way the Government does business. Always has, always will."

Dr. Visionaire was visibly embarrassed. "Sorry," he apologized, "I really wasn't thinking of you as a bureaucrat. I had no intention -"

"It's quite all right," Ms. Ormond assured him. "I work for a bureaucracy, therefore I must be a bureaucrat. It's too big to fight, really, so I try to show that there are good bureaucrats as well as bad ones."

"Then you appreciate my reluctance to leap into a situation where satisfying bureaucratic requirements might take precedence over my basic mission of tending to the needs of the residents?"

"Of course. But it needn't be a problem for you. You simply hire your own bureaucrat to deal with the Government bureaucrats. Keep it at arm's length, so to speak."

"How depressing!" Dr. Visionaire said, frowning at the floor. "It's throwing good money after bad. But I suppose that's what I'll have to do," he admitted, trying to shake off the gloomy feel of it.

"Do I have your agreement in principle with the whole package, then?"

Dr. Visionaire nodded in the affirmative. "Yes. It's the patriotic thing to do, I suppose. But I should have warned you, Ms. Ormond, my consent has no legal significance. Mr. Thorndyke is the man you should be dealing with."

"Oh," she said. "That's what I thought in the first place, but then he passed me on to you."

"Smacks of the old bureaucratic shuffle, does it not?" the doctor asked, grinning. "It must seem to you that I've been used as a cat's paw, but I think the simple truth is that Mr. Thorndyke had no more idea of the scope of your interest than I did. If it were a simple matter of granting a few admissions, I would be the one to deal with."

"Good!" Ms. Ormond responded. "Let's discuss the interim arrangement then. What would you say to reserving space for twenty Government-sponsored residents?"

"Twenty! My God! Only this morning I was in deep debate with myself as to how I might squeeze in five more of the regular applicants!"

"And what was your decision on those five?"

"None. It would require establishing a kind of second-class residency. We've always prided ourselves on individual rooms for each resident except married couples. The private room seems almost like one of those inalienable rights that ought to be guaranteed by the constitution. Especially with older people who become set in their ways and, to some extent, actually incapable of accepting a stranger as a roommate. And yet, the only way we could serve more people would be to do some doubling up."

"Quite a standard practice, really," Ms. Ormond said. "I don't know of a hospital in the country that doesn't have semi-private and ward accommodations."

"We don't call ourselves a hospital," Earnie said. "We're a residence and we do everything economically possible to preserve the resident's individuality and self-esteem."

"Circumstances alter policies," Ms. Ormond said. "Semi-private rooms would seem to be the answer to your problem."

"Your diplomatic guests would accept semi-private, would they?"

"Certainly not! Those will be people accustomed to first-class treatment."

"It's a bit of a double standard we're discussing then, isn't it?"

"Not necessarily. You get shat you pays for. Many of your residents would probably eagerly accept a lower rate for semi-private accomodations. My guests have a rich uncle and will expect first-class."

"Semi-private," Earnie mused. "It's a euphemism of the worst sort. A thing is either private or it isn't. Semi-private is like semi-pregnant as far as I can see."

"It's obviously not an easy decision for you," Ms. Ormond sympathized, "but a decision is needed. You will give it a try, won't you?"

"I'll work out a semi-private rate and see how many of the residents are willing to accept semi-private for the savings involved. It will require Mr. Thorndyke's approval. You may be sure he will have no more enthusiasm for semi-private than I do."

"And how soon could I have a definite commitment?"

"Probably the day after tomorrow."

"Not tomorrow?"

"No. Mr. Thorndyke is due back the day after tomorrow."

"But you can reach him by phone?"

"Yes. He wouldn't be caught dead with a cell phone or a beeper, but he will phone me tomorrow morning just to keep in touch."

"Then, at least a tentative commitment would be possible by tomorrow?"

"What's the rush? Is one day that important?"

"Yes, it is. My people need to know so they can begin answering the foreign inquiries."

"I'll see what I can do," Earnie promised.

"I'll be back tomorrow for your answer. What time would you suggest?"

"Try two o'clock. I expect I can resolve things with Mr. Thorndyke by then."

"Good! Well, we've both got a lot to do, so I'll get out of your way," Ms. Ormond said, rising to leave.

"If you're a stranger in the area and don't have a jealous husband lurking in the wings, perhaps you'd let me take you to dinner tonight?" Earnie asked.

"I was hoping you'd ask," Ms. Ormond admitted. "Dining alone is the worst part fo these out-of-town sojourns. And it is Miss Ormond, though Ms. has its uses, Doctor."

"Great! Where are you staying?"

"It's this place," Ms. Ormond said, digging a matchbook out of her briefcase and saying, "I don't smoke, but I always take the matchbooks so I won't forget where I'm staying."

As soon as Ms. Ormond left, Earnie went in search of Ellie Thorndyke to explain his need to have a few words with Theodore whenever he might phone her. He also enlisted her aid in making the survey to determine how many residents might accept semi-private rooms in return for reduced rates.

"You know, Ellie, there's one thing in particular about all this that I'm really going to hate to tell Theodore," Earnie said. "Right now, he's out there somewhere haggling like a gypsy to get a good price on a wrought iron fence that I've just arranged to get for free. It's like catching the biggest trout of your life, then watching the kid next to you pull out a bigger one."

"Good point," Ellie said, "I'd let that be slow news."

"Slow news?"

"Certainly. Just don't mention it to him. He'll find out later, but it won't matter as much after the bloom has gone off the fence, so to speak."

"That sounds like good advice," Earnie agreed. "And what's your advice on taking Ms. Ormond to dinner?"

"None at all, Earnie," she said. "That's your affair, and it's about time you had one."

It was difficult non-advice to forget. About time he had an affair? Maybe it was, but Earnie felt he couldn't let that happen just yet. As Robert Frost had put it, he had miles to go and promises to keep.

By the time he returned Ms. Ormond to her motel tha evening, they had become 'Jane' and 'Earnie' and he asked, "Do I rate a good-night kiss?"

Startled by the thoroughly memorable embrace Jane gave in reply, Earnie backed off awkwardly, saying, "Wow! That was great! But - you know- I'm not entirely free. I can't exactly explain it, but I'm just not free. If we can be friends, I want that very much, but I don't know that it can be more than that."

"Oh?" Jane asked with a puzzled smile. "A fiance, is there?"

"No. There's no fiance, wife, or even a steady," Earnie admitted.

"Gay?" Jane asked, almost timidly.

"No, no!" Earnie insisted, considerably embarrassed. Definitely not that. I find you incredibly attractive. I'm just - not free."

"Okay," Jane said. "Friends," and, kissing him again, whispered, "Very good friends."

THE END - Chapter 7

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